A letter written by Madonna in the early 90’s re-emerged this week as part of an auction with Darlene Lutz as leader, Madonna’s former art consultant.
The letter is addressed to “J”, we believe to be John Enos, who Madonna temporarily dated. In the letter, the star writes many unsuccessful things, the most remarkably intolerable as follows: “Now I have made so many people angry that I’m being punished and basically made to be quiet and sit in a corner while other less interesting and exciting people are reaping the benefits of the roads I’ve paved.”
Then, she compares herself with black people, feeling mediocre: “Maybe this is what black people felt like when Elvis Presley got huge. It’s so unequivocally frustrating to read that Whitney Houston has the music career I wish I had and Sharon Stone has the film career I’ll never have.”
“Everything I do is so original and unique and I put so much of myself into it like my book and my record and it’s only brought me heartache and pain and I don’t think I can play the game to be accepted. I’m too intelligent, I have too much pride.”
Madonna finished the letter by saying her viewpoint on life was “black, black, black. … I feel like I have no career, no family, nothing permanent or tangible. I have to regain my sense of power and my joy for living.”